The baby on the plane

This happened in the AA Flight 2455, from Chicago to Phoenix. The young couple at the row behind me had a baby boy, who kept on shrieking and crying alternately at the top of his voice. The father kept patting him, carrying him up and down the aisle. The mum tried to put him to sleep by softly singing lullabies. Nothing worked.

I was intent on getting some sleep in the plane after having to wake up at 4AM to catch the flight. Even before take-off I was drifting away to sleep. When I woke up, all I could perceive were layers and layers of clouds outside the window and a very angry little fellow at the back, kicking and punching my seat as the young parents (must be in their mid-twenties) looked on helplessly. He obviously hated flying, the little gentleman.

And how he cried!! For three long hours!! Shrill and angry, he woke up everyone that slept all over the economy cabin. Never have I heard a baby cry so loud and SO MUCH. However, he calmed down a bit once the tired mum allowed him to stand all by himself on the aisle, holding on to the seat arm-rest -an activity the baby seemed to have just recently learnt. What more, he seemed to find me and my terracotta necklace intriguing, so within five minutes he was perched on my lap, laughing loudly (he IS a boisterous little fellow, I tell you) and tugging at the necklace. His face was red from crying and his downy head of sparse hair wet with tears. He reminded me of a big blond doll I had when I was about his age.

The parents walked around, apologizing to everyone, and especially to me and two other girls seated in my row who were closest to the source of …well…noise. I was indeed getting very irritated right after waking up, but playing with that little chap, just into his second year of existence made me forgive him readily.

Passengers around jolted out of various stages of sleep seemed to be in a forgiving mood too. Not one of them though –and that is when trouble brewed.

Well, the man in a beige leather jacket in the seat in front of mine was glaring at the baby for quite some time. Surprising he could hear the screams at all considering how huge his Bose headphones were. But anyway, after the plane landed and people were busy retrieving stowed carry-ons, he looked back and said to the parents: “wouldn’t carry him if I were you. Doesn’t work! All that noise man!” The mother said, “Sorry, he is just 15 months old…and…” at which the guy snapped, “You couldn’t have quieted him down? The little bastard disturbed everyone” “May we could, but we really enjoyed hearing him cry.” This was the mother, and the father was offended just as anyone would. “You have a better idea smartass?”

“Yes.” Said the big guy, and for a minute he seemed to be towering over the young father. “May be you should have put her (this, pointing at the wife) fucking tits in his fucking mouth!”

The passengers were shocked and just as the two men were coming to blows, the wife got hold of the husband. “Please George, it’s not worth it!” The badmouthing fatso wasn’t about to give up. “That’s what I say…..her fucking tits…….”and this time while some people held the husband back, he gasped “I’ll see you outside douchebag. You won’t get away with what you just said!” At this the guy said, “tell me where and when!”

Me and some other passengers tried to calm the couple down. The baby had started crying again. The young mother was in tears. The father was red from humiliation. And surely enough, at the baggage claim area he spotted the offender and they fought loudly and would have come to blows if some people had not interposed, yours truly included.

This incident and related reflections taught me three lessons:
1. Just because seemingly the entire population of a nation emphasizes on politeness and wraps you in the cotton wool of courtesy, doesn’t mean you cannot expect the precipitous, shocking outburst once in a while.
2. Always have a baby with a man who is genuinely willing to have one with you and who will guard your and the baby’s honor with his life. (this is a pointed comment specifically directed at a certain man I know:)

3.Pups are easier to carry on flights than babies, you just need to mildly sedate them and put them in the living cargo section.

~ by feistyfeline on November 28, 2006.